One of the worst movie experiences I've had in recent times was when I was forced to sit through the screening of Race 3 in 3D. And needless to say, I'm never getting those three hours or those dead brain cells back. The 3D effect was completely unnecessary, except to draw attention to Salman Khan's double chin, puffed-up face and wrinkles.
So, maybe Salman Khan should stop making such films. It's physically painful to watch a 52-year-old man behave like a giggly teenager with his 20-something girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I am all for the Anup Jalota-Jasleen Matharu love story. Or, was, until they split. It's just that if life is not a Flipkart ad, then the reverse isn't true either.
So, no, Aamir Khan, however brilliant he may be, doesn't look like a first-year college student in 3 Idiots, and neither did Shah Rukh Khan look one in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
And then, this happened.
"Tonight we start filming…!" wrote John James Rambo, revealing the first look of Rambo V. The film is slated for a 2019 release. Twitter and its army of opinionated keyboard warriors had a lot to say — but it mostly revolved around Stallone's cowboy look. Hardly anything about the fact that, well, I don't know, Stallone looks nothing like a soldier anymore.
*Cough* (double standards)
Rambo, the PTSD-suffering soldier in the current part will be seen fighting a Mexican drug cartel that kidnaps the daughter of a friend. Expect high-octane fight sequences, gritty dialogues, and fierce dead fish eyes so characteristic of Stallone. And, yeah, expect hardcore fans going crazy over the return of Rambo.
Okay, fair enough. You love Stallone. But why so brutal towards India's very own Expendables — the Salman Khans and the Akshay Kumars of Bollywood? Are we simply critiquing the Hindi film scenario because we feel entitled to have an opinion about everything Indian, or praising Hollywood because the cool gang we wanted to be a part of back in college binge-watched Western cinema? Are we of the school of thought that if it's Bollywood, it must be trashy — and if it's Hollywood, it must be orgasmic?
Because from where I am standing, it's not apples and oranges, it's a big, juicy bite at the cherry.
So, let's just cut the crap and get to the point. In the business of cinema, one needs strong, bankable shoulders, and all those shoulders — both close home and over there — happen to be stooping with age. But who gives a fig? As long as each of these films goes on to rake in the desired moolah at the box office.